BUSINESS ETIQUETTE: THE ART OF INTRODUCTION

THE ART OF INTRODUCTION

“Introductions are a necessity, because, in a curious way, until someone is introduced into a group, socially they only half exist,” says John Moran. We come across people all the time in different types of social and business context or situations, what are out dispositions? Mannerisms displayed when we meet and how we greet people in those instances, go a long way to leave indelible impressions that could pave way for either a productive or unproductive encounter. This brings us to: The Art of Introduction.

The Art of Introduction.

Why is introduction important? It is because it s a forerunner to more information about anyone. It puts the maker of the introduction in good light, removes indifference, conveys a level of respect amongst all parties, removes discomfort embarrassment and self pity.

Most people are either shy, do not have the courage to introduce themselves to a person they have never met or known, except it is done by third party who know both of them. Friends, thee is always a first time, just do it yourself in any social or business function. Sometimes in parties one finds guest sitting in one corner wallowing in self pity with no one to talk to, go over to him or her and make an introduction, and a beneficial conversation may follow.

Shades of introduction:

There are two basic types of introduction. Business and Social introductions.

Business  Introduction in business is not based on gender, but on career status, in all occasions, persons of lower authority is introduced to persons of higher authority. The persons to whom the introduction is made is mentioned first and the introduced last. For example, Mr./Mrs. Lower personality. However, a customer or client must be regarded as “higher authority” over anyone in your organization. The same process of introduction occurs.

Some examples of order of prestige in introductions are shown below:

a.         A customer and person working in your company

Example: Mr. Chukwuemeka, this is Mrs. Atata, our Accounting Officer. Mr. Chukwuemeka is our customer from Nnewi. The customer is more important. the customer keeps you in business!

b.         A non-official to an elected official.

Example: Honorable Bob Manuel, allow me to introduce David Hastrup from the Post Express.

Always introduce anyone from the press to a public official fully for very obvious reasons, for he could be speaking on record.

Social Introductions:

The meaning is obvious and different in totally from the business one which is more upright.

Introducing Personalities in social functions.

Precedence is the language of protocol. Rules of international diplomatic protocol states persons should be presented to the Pope, presidents, royalty, ambassadors, ministers, dignitaries of the church, without regard to age or gender. Outside the above, gender, age, social status can now be considered in other social  introductions. No rules to introducing age group.

Other introductions

Relatives should be introduced with a good clarification to their relations with you, in order to ward of misrepresentation.

Introductions should not end in just names alone, but a piece of information about the persons may  be added.

A conversation may roll in because of that unique  information.

Good introduction of yourself, and carriage can make you a star performer especially in the business arena. Here are some tips .

How to make an entrance and work in the room

This refers to your entrying a room with confidence without butterflies in your stomac, mingling abilities, including the art of introductions and conversation expertise.Also, one should dress to match the occasion. note: it is how you are dressesd that you will be addressed!

All the same, at the venue one alights from the car and heads to the door. At the doorway, you can scan the room,  full  beautiful, corporate and intelligent people you have  never met before, butterflies now develop in your stomach and your heart skips, while your legs wobble a bit. What is your next action? With your confidence gone, you  now  heads sideways until someone you  know either comes around;  you remain there until the occasion comes to an end. Could  you have attended a party or business/social function? No!.

However the appropriate thing to do when you make an entrance walk straight through to the centre of the room with confidence and meet your host. If you are not alone introduce the persons you are with to your host.

Introducing yourself:

You can say hello or use the form of greeting you want to adopt to people you meet on the way to meet your host. With a thin smile on your lips your host will introduce you to four or five persons having a chat close by.

On the contrary you find yourself alone and feeling low, just go over to a group of people discussing (not two people engrossed in a conversation) just smile and when someone amongst them acknowledges your presence or as soon as there is a pause in their conversation, smile, offer to shake hands maintain eye contact introduce yourself telling them your name without any prefixes and concisely state your relationship with the host and if a business function, describe yourself in terms of what you do and ask if you may join them. This should be modesty done with common sense. You can equally introduce yourself to just the closet person to you too  in the manner above

Sometimes the host may be too busy greeting guest, so he may appoint other guest, representatives of the company if it is a business, function to be greeters. In this case the greeter introduces him/herself and accompanies the guest to the host  for introductions to the host and other guests or taken the bar to have drinks

Introducing others

When introducing a group pf people to each other, always use first names and surnames. This help to distinguish person who share the same first names. It s however important to use a little in the introduction if, the person is a doctor, in the military, clergy, engineer or a lawyer.

Your husband should be introduced in this manner to a friend “I d like you to meet my husband Patrick” (or “Patrick Kagua)’ do not refer to him as “Mr. Patrick” or Dr. White. This introduction takes the same order when you are being introduced by him too.

In some societies, some married women like to retain their maiden name. examples include Benezier Bhutto of Pakistan, Late MEE of  then classique magazine, Onyeka Onwenu and many others. When introducing a woman of such and her husband, it should be in this order “this is Doris Day and her husband bassey Okon”. When introducing an unmarried couple living together, say thus “I like you to meet Philomena Emmanuel and her companion Nelson White.” It is not your business  to mention they are co habiting.

In a formal introduce introduction, “How do you do,” a salutation, not a question, followed by the peson’s name is the response. When someone greets you, “How do you do, your response should be same.

In our culture, older persons and bosses are always respected. When for example you want to introduce your wife to your boss, always add his prefix to his name. “Dr. Nwachukwu, I’ d like to introduce my wife Stella to you. Stella this is Dr. Nwachukwu, our chairman/Managing Director.

Never repeat a peson name when introduced to you in an informal meeting. Just reply with a simle ‘helow’ or “ I’ve heard a lot about you,” if is true. Times have changed. Not the usual “I am pleased or delighted to meet you.

You could be taking a walk with a friend and another friend of yours stops to say hello. Learn to introduce the persons you are with. It is saucy to ignore his presence. In a restaurant, you find someone you know siting with friends, just say hello and pass by. Do not stop to chat. It more or less destabilizes every body, from his friends to waiters etc.

A speaker at a banquette or some officall  function should be introduced with his full names, “it gives me great  pleasure to present Paul Nimyel Okaka.”

Posture when introduced

Women and men should stand up when introduced to a member of the clergy, elderly persons, dignitary and guest of honour. Host and hostess always stand up to greet each guest who enters the party room. A man should always stand up when being introduced to a woman. The latter can it if she chooses except the person is very much older  than her. When being introduced to a stranger always shake hands.

Once you have been introduced to somebody you always acknowledge him wherever you meet. This  is because  selective social memory is a charmless.

Shaking hands and the social kiss

Your handshake speak a lot about you. A firm one indicates a confident, courageous and daring person. In our culture a woman should wait for a man to extend his hands first especially if he is older. A younger person does not extend his/her hand to greet an elder. Although, some traditions  expect the woman to make the move, it is the woman’s right to accept the man any. When dealing with amputees always extend your right hand even though they do not have one.

Greeting members and close allies. When this is to be done, go for the right side of the left one depending on your mood anyway. Most Europeans usually do this too. Have you watched Presidents when receiving foreign visitors?

JAPANESE ETIQUETTE AND BUSINESS PRACTISES

INTERNATIONAL ETIQUETTE

Japan business etiquette and  business practices

Business Practises
Appointments: One key rule or practice in Japan's bisiness etiquette is punctuality. It matters to them a lot and speaks volume of you who is doing business with them. Work hours is from 9am to 5pm and 9pm to 10pm after dinner. The periods of the year when the Japanese cannot do official business and travel though shops can open to sell  include: New Year's holidays ( Dec. 28 to Jan 3), Golden Week (April 23rd to May 5), and Obon in mid August. The last two holidays are used to visit graves of loved ones, including their ancestor
Time; Japan is nine hours ahead of Greenwich Mean Time ( G.M.T. + 9) or 14 hours ahead Eastern Standard Time (E.S.T. +14).

Negotiating:
The Japanese diplomatically says'"No"by saying I 'll  consider it."
Doing businessin Japan, always be ready to genuinely say sorry, not out of fear of offending, but when the need to arises.
 In as much as Intermediaries should not be part not be used in a business deal in Japan, "connections" are very helpful. If you really must use, the syndrome of  " big man talk to big man" should be the adopted style. That is,  you approach a person at executive level to talk to the executive big man in the company where you wantto have business dealings. On the contrary, just do a personal call, not letter to the big boss. Further more, usean intermediary, such as the one who introduced to the company to discuss unpleasant news.
Using Japanese lawyers rather than a foreign one  shows team spirit.
Age equals rank in Japan for they show great respect for grey hairs,so you doing business with the Japanese group must follow suit.

The Japanese wants to see how far and how well you can use your initiative. They can never tell you their expectations.
Employees go through job rotation in the same company every few years.
The suggestion box, very useful in Japan.
Refuse things offered indirectly

MOTORISTS ETIQUETTE AND MANNERS

Owning a car makes movement from place to place easy and relaxed. However, driving in some major cities in Nigeria has become very cumbersome and of late Port Harcourt and its environs are worse hit. Instead of driving being a pleasure, it has become the most hazardous and frustrating activity to execute.

These days, most motorists do not have proper knowledge of traffic rules, coupled with poor driving skills and disregard for the rights of others equally make a hell of experience. Our Eastern brothers from Aba who drive their commercial vehicles do not want to spare anybody in their reckless path and many have fallen victims of their uncouth behavior. Between Aba and Port Harcourt three different persons apart from the driver, drive a vehicle. You must have noticed it yourself! You know what I mean.

 Three commonest attitudes, which also contribute to traffic congestion, are complete lawlessness, selfishness and indecision on the part of motorists. They are all functions of poor up bringing and ignorance of proper social skills.

           
 Drivers exhibit everyday, different behavioral traits. Drivers are not just commuters, but you and I, or anybody who drivers a car, either on the highway or service road. These traits could be very suffocating and irritating, but just be calm so as to concentrate on your driving and on the road.

           
 The very rude ones go to the extent of hurling verbal abuses in a bid to deliver a lecture on driving from their seats as they are driving. A woman is just a toy in their hands. They throw phrases like, “go get driver”, “greedy woman, you no want make driver chop”, which kin nonsense man carry moto give me sef,” and so on. Be prepared!!

           
 Have you ever been unlucky for your car to have a breakdown inmid-traffic? Waoh!! Nobody will care to assist you except for few decent ones. The abusive ones behind will hoot their horns to a very high temple and rain all sorts of abuses. They forget that as they get agitated they forget that as they get agitated they increase your personal stress. Taxi and bus drivers, as have been observed, often block traffic so as to discharge or collect passengers because they are “Lords” of the road. Some even make U-turns anyhow, beat traffic lights, and drive on prohibited flyovers.

            
 Lane discipline has gone to the marines. Where can you find it in Aba Express Road? The best you can do is to always drive on the right hand lane and use the left to overtake if need be. Disciplined drivers avoid switching from lane to lane and do not shunt vehicles in front of them unnecessarily during a traffic jam. The contrary is the case for all those reckless ones, who often jump the queue at random. They do not know that they get more entangled in the traffic and the time they should have waited quietly to get along with others is approximate to get that used in maneuvering to be at a vantage position. These maneuvers unfortunately go with abuses from fellow drivers verbally, or by aggressive postures to claim right of way. Fellow drivers, why not save yourself this embarrassment? Also when changing lanes, give enough signals so as not to affect the sensibilities of others and show appreciation by waving your hands. They are in haste too.

           
 The horn is another device, which a lot of motorist use to make nuisance. In most cases, they are used aggressively, not warningly, as is the purpose. The horn is equally meant to indicate your presence to another road user.

            
 No matter how close you are to person you are visiting, do not blare your horn from a distance away or even right at the gate. Drive to the gate, alight from your vehicle, and either knock on the gate or press the doorbell if there is one. This portrays you as a well- groomed person.

            
 Not dimming your headlamps especially in the night is very rude behavior. The other driver or rider in the opposite direction is at the risk of not seeing at all and you can indirectly lead him to an accident.

              
 Never driver too closely to the car in front of you, so that in any case of a breakdown of the former, you can always pull out, especially in traffic. Try to show a little kindness to motorists who courteously signal you, particularly those who want to ease into the lane you are in because of a broken down car in front of them and those from adjoining road or car park. Even those who want to be ‘fast’ and claim right of way, allow them. This is because the responsible party is most times affected badly in case of an accident. Be a contradiction!! Slow down as a man of God who is answering a distress call of someone, instead of discourteously or fiercely accelerating.

             
 NEVER overtake except you can regain your position on the right hand side.

           
 Wrong parking obstructs the road and affects others. These include double parking, parking on a bend, entrances to premises parallel to office fences. If you can help the situation, do not drive too close to parked cars in case of the latter’s sudden opening of the door of his car to come down. Refrain from monopolizing space when parking especially in a parking lot. This goes to show how reasonable and organized you are .try to clear properly off the road when dropping your anchor.

           
 Motorist should avoid as much as possible accidental splashing of water, on pedestrian. They have equal right as you. Pedestrians too, should always be on the left side and face on coming vehicles. Lest I forget be fair to animals too.

            
 It is bad manners to little streets or roads when driving, turning round to talk to those in the back seat, lighting cigarettes, turning radio or inserting a cassettes, eating , bargaining through the window with a street trader, and lately, making/ receiving calls be exonerated from these defaults.

             
When you go driving with children, the safest place for them is the back seat .A rear – facing child safety seat in the back seat of the car is very good for infants.

 A year old with weight of at least 20 pound should be place in a forward facing seat.

           
 A booster seat, which is supported by the car’s lap and shoulder belts, should be used by a child weighing 40 pounds.

            
 At 80 pound or thereabout when the child is approaching 5ft, an adult safety strap is all right.

            
 Everything is governed by rules, which actually put us on the positive side of the law.

For you to be a gentleman or lady, try to often remember the advice of Mark Twain on Etiquette,” Always do right: you will please some people and astonish the rest.

Driving manner cannot be separated from safety as can be seen so far. However, here are some general tips to lead you:

(a)     Vehicle should always be in good condition.

(b)    Always use your seat belt and encourage others to.

(c)     Never smoke in another’s car. Do not think of it

(d)   Drive with focus.

(e)    Apart from Nigeria Road Safety Corps requirement, you should have a first Aid kit, flashlight, oil lamps, blanket and box of matches in your car.

(f)     Always lock your car door with a customized lock when parking the car anywhere. On return check the back seat for intruders before entering the car. Park in a well lighted place at night. Always use handbrakes and leave car in gears.

(g)   Be careful when closing car doors for children could be very erratic and be sure the doors are properly locked.

(h)   Never stop on the highway for a stranger whose vehicle has broken down, anytime. The best one can do is to stop at the next gas station to alert any possible mechanic and his allies so that he can be attended to. Never stop for a hitchhiker with the current situation reports being dished out everyday.

(i)     When stopped by a Police Officer, be polite, straight forward, and never be argumentative. He is more trained in his field than you and he has stopped you for reasons best known to him. Anyway be safety conscious because some policemen are something else.

(j)     If you scratch or hit a car in the owner’s absence do not just take off. Good manners expect you to leave your name and address or call number in a visible place like under the windshield wiper blade.

(k)   If you do not like the way a driver is driving, tell him to stop and let you out of the car.

Finally, the seat of honor is the front passenger seat and it is always polite to give that to older persons. Also in a business situation the highest ranking person gets that seat. This is why you seat.  However culture varies. In most African countries the seat of honor is the right side of the backseat. All the same, when traveling as a couple, always make your guest comfortable by giving him the front seat, most especially if he is a matured man, so as not to isolate him.

               

                                                

 

READERS ARE LEADERS

 READERS ARE LEADERS

Do cultivate reading culture. It is enriching to read, especially books of relevance. Reading gives you knowledge.

            It occupies your time, particularly you idle ones.

            There is saying that, “An idle mind ism the devil’s workshop.” It enhances your spoken and written English exposes you to what is happening in your immediate environment, your state, your country and even the globe, you should develop the habit for reading not only your academic books but books outside our disciplines. In fact we should read for pleasure and relaxation, instead of watching TV, movies like home videos, gossiping and doing what we like best. Note that if we did what we liked best without check or balance we would all go to destruction. Another advantage of reading is, it relieves one of tension and stress. In the process also, new vocabularies are added to the ones you already knew.

            Please, include reading as one of your hobbies, because this is the only tool one can use to acquire knowledge and skills. Through reading you can become very imaginative, focused, romantic, and wise.

            What then can one read? One can read newspapers, magazines, which are educational and informational, novels, biographic, autobiographies, and good books especially the one that appeals to you, poems, and the ultimate, the bible, which is the book of life.

DEFINITIONS OF ETIQUETTE AND PROTOCOL

WHAT IS ETIQUETTE?

Etiquette is an embodiment of knowledge which gives one guidelines , social skills or clues to know how to behave at any occasion. the knowledge of etiquette is not a class thing as some persons would want to believe or assume. Etiquette covers those little things that one thinks are not important, but these are the very things that can make or mar you. The knowledge of etiquette is acquired or learnt not known by instints. Etiquette cuts across our private life, business, and social lives. It starts from when one is born, through life until one dies.

Protocol is the art of making sure anything done officially between government and their representatives or otherwise, is orderly done and follows correct due process, is carried out sequencially without flaws, embarassment or ignorance.

In a simple explanation, is all about making people feel comfortable around you or in your presence. Etiquette raises its head where persons are gathered even if they are just. This is because your behavior, character, disposition is bound to affect the next person.

There are many ways etiquette can rear its head but there are there major ways classified thus:
1. One's actions
2. Spoken words
3. Appearance





Etiquette can also be refeered to as Character Education. Everyone has one kind of character or the other which needs one form of polish or refining. As such its knowledge is meant for all right from the cradle to old age.

The family, organizations, institutions of learning, companies et al need etiquette. Some years ago, the Massachusettes offered a free course to all its students. Why? The Dean of Uundergraduates Affairs was described the students as "style - free, fashion challenged and manner - deprived,." as reported New Scientist magazine. The one - day course included instruction in table manners, dress,
 business and cell phone etiquette and ways to get acquinted with others, how to walk, sneeze discreetly, and were reminded that "small talk is dialogue, not an interrogation and how to say "thank you" when accepting a compliment.


Etiquette is broadly classified into parts:

Private life Etiquette
Business Etiquette
Social Etiquette
Children / Youth Etiquette
Workplace Etiquette
Public Place Etiquette
International Etiquette


Do we really need etiquette knowledge in our everyday life? Why must it be cultivated? We do, for us to have a better societies. For a country to have a conscience, the feelings of the next person or neighbour must be uppermost with respect to any taken action; whether it is from the point of leadership, management, appropriation of fund and duties if Character Education is not imbibed or inculcated in to our school curricula, a country will continue to be in the doldrums. Some of the below reasons can lend credit to the fact that we all need etiquette knowledge:


Leadership skills
The Team Concept
Job Mobility
Conflict Resolution with ease and grace
Embarassment proof in order to be polished and up to date
Different Cultural Sensitivities
To know how to behave in a wide variety of professional settings
Arms one with all important tools for building solid, productive ties in business or otherwise.

Good communication skills either written or spoken which do not affect sensibilities

Personality enhancement with self respect, respect for others and the environment

 Take a look around you!! What do you see? People are negatively polite,  nonchalant to one another. The world was once renowned for her civility and hospitality has become a gloge of many awkward and rude persons. Manners in totality no longer have any meaning to a lot of people.

 The most obvious one is our dress sense, which is very appalling and questionable in my society. Problems are solved through violence, public relations nil, no respect for each other, students beating up teachers, name it.

 All these in fact make human existence a struggle. In those good old days, crude mannerisms were frowned at, but today, the reverse is the case.

 In the past century the beginning of manners decadence can be traced to 1914 when the World War 1 began. This was a blow to humanity. Up till date the decline has gradually affected the whole world. In summary, the terrible traits now commonly exhibited include:

Anything goes attitude where one is a master of himself/herself. Relativism is the order of the day, whereby a view on ethnical truths depends on the individuals and groups holding them.

 Unwelcoming  arrogance…comments like please, excuse me, let me help you, and take my seat, are no longer in our dictionary. Words like honor, compassion, civility and duty are now in trash cans.

    
 Self-centeredness and greed…-this is explanatory. Anyone who puts himself first indulges in self-
worship, and cannot have good manners. Greed for money has led to many atrocities. Love for money and self have made people proud, boastful, haughty, and ungrateful. Disrespect for old age
 and gray hairs are  past tense. 

All these traits manifest daily in our homes, schools, and place of work in different styles. People are now slanderous, impatient, fierce, and strangers to goodness. These forms of rudeness are not encouraging if, we want to actually change our societal values for the best. Anyway, it should be noted that rudeness is a weak man’s imitation of strength.

These bring us to the knowledge of  Etoquette and Protocol and Cultural Intelliigence. These knowlege will be used to teach people skills or social skills which will hone our everyday interactions people anywhere and in any circumstance tt handle situations with confidence, respect, diplomacy and tact; save us from embarassment, otuclass the competition and bulid stronger ties in business and our personal lives; and increase our financial returns and skyrocket our self esteem and gain more social acceptance.

The definitions of etiquette are vast so as to be easy for the layman to understand although it has been defined above it  can defined as:

(a) Conventional expectations with respect to social behaviour; proprieties of good character or social skills as established in any class or community or for any occasion.
(b)A prescribed or accepted code of ceremony, as in a court or unofficial or other formal observances 

Also, it applies to code of ethics in professional practice or obeyed laid down rules set for the members of any profession in their dealings with one another.


We should remember that etiquette must embody courtesy, politeness, manners, civility and ethics. Courtesy: this is tied to the courts of royalty, where full elegance and respect is expected. This can be applicable locally or otherwise wherever we fond ourselves.

• Politeness: it is a word used on those who have spent a lot of whatever it took to polish or refine their behaviour to be the best of persons. Although, politeness could be hypocrisy but 90% not always.
• Manners: it is gotten from the Greek word 'manus,' the Latin word for hand. Manner is the way something is carried out or handled. Manners, now synonymous in social interaction with behaviour -- the way we handle meetings (encounter), between self  and the other person. When we handle others with care, respect, it shows and we are termed to have good manners.

Civility: it is a word gotten from  'civitas' which means city. It is understood that the life in the city

We should remember that etiquette must embody courtesy, politeness, manners, civility and ethics. Courtesy: this is tied to the courts of royalty, where full elegance and respect is expected. This can be applicable locally or otherwise wherever we fond ourselves.

• Politeness: it is a word used on those who have spent a lot of whatever it took to polish or refine their behaviour to be the best of persons. Although, politeness could be hypocrisy but 90% not always.
• Manners: it is gotten from the Greek word 'manus,' the Latin word for hand. Manner is the way something is carried out or handled. Manners, now synonymous in social interaction with behaviour -- the way we handle meetings (encounter), between self  and the other person. When we handle others with care, respect, it shows and we are termed to have good manners.

refines or shapes our social skills. It is true, especially when you are coming from the countryside.

• 
  
  Ethics: these are the virtues which make us unique and principled. They include honesty, truth, transparency, equity, justice, integrity etc.
•  It was Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield who first used the word 'etiquette' in its modern meaning, in his Letters to His Son on the Art of Becoming Man of the World and a Gentleman. He wrote over 400 letters to his son, from 1737  until his son's death in 1768, and were most instructive letters on various aspect of life. The letters were first published by his son's widow  in 1774. Chesterfield endeavoured to decouple the issue of manners from conventional morality, supporting that mastery of etiquette was an important tool for social advancement. The Letters were full of elegant wisdom and perceptive observation and deduction.  
• Chesterfield epitomised the restraint of polite 18th-century society, writing, for instance, in 1748:
• "I would heartily wish that you may often be seen to smile, but never heard to laugh while you live. Frequent and loud laughter is the characteristic of folly and ill-manners; it is the manner in which he mob express their silly joy at silly things; and they call it being merry. In my mind there is nothing so illiberal, and so ill-bred, as audible laughter. .... neither of a melancholy nor a cynical disposition, and am as willing and as apt to be pleased as anybody; but I am sure that since I have had the full use of my reason nobody has ever heard me laugh. 
•  During the Victorian period,  etiquette had developed into hydra-headed set of rules, rearing its head in everything; from appearance to manner of how speak, actions, to the appropriate style for writing letters and correct usage of cutlery to the least regulated  interactions between different gender; and the different strata in society. However today, etiquette knowldge cuts across Rites of Passage which include Birth, Baptism, and other ceremonies of Childhood, Engagement to be Married, Weddings, Separation and Divorse, Remarrige, Death, Funerals and Memoial Services. The Social Life which encompasses our Private Life in relation to oneself, others, environmemt, society and the globe at large; Royal, Diplomatic and other Formal Events; The Spoken and Written Word, Entertaining, Travelling outside your country, All your Relationships starting from your home to your Business Life and Attitude and Dress Sense. we should be aware that  Africans have our culture too which may be slightly different from the general etiquette and there is no society on earth which does not have traditional or conventional rules that regulates their social behaviour. i am saying this because a lot think it is a Westernised Affair and it is only meant for the Whites. let be butress this by asking a question. When you want to get married, are there no procedures that are followed? they are in stages? These fall under Etiquette and Protocol! True or False. Let us make the world a better global village by our polished behavour.
•  
  The definition of etiquette can thus be defined thus: Etiquette is an embodiment of knowledge which teaches one how to behavave in any given situation no matter the context putting in mind consideration for others. The definition can also be put this way: Etiquette is a system of conventional rules that regulate social behaviour bearing in mind courtesy, politeness, civility and ethics.. Literally, it means ticket or card,   and it refers to the ancient custom of a monarch setting forth ceremonial rules and regulations on these cards to be observed by attendees. It is pronounced  /Eti. ket /  .
  
  Consideration for others and observance for monarch`s rules has been there as far back Anglo – Saxon time was part of Etiquette. It was even demonstrated in the epic poem Beowulf written 700 A.D  when Queen Wealtheow, “mindful of etiquette,” handed the goblet first to the king, then to the courtiers, and finally to herself. Through the centuries, observance of this display of consideration has come to stay and remained unquestioned.
  
  “Mindful etiquette is constant” is constant but etiquette rules are not,  just as the world around us is not, for they keep evolving . this why we need to be going for training or keep updating. There are some conventional or traditional aspects of etiquette that have so much to do with our everyday life. They are not farfetched. They include being considerate of others, teaching children, even ourselves table manners, letter writing, gift giving,  honouring a wedding, teamwork and getting along with people especially co-workers and family members, formal dinner parties, anniversaries, cocktails and other dated ceremonials. When one is conversant with the etiquette rules and expected behaviour, just as one admires a person when he or she behaves well and properly executes any planned duty, so our dispositions and capabilities  are admired and commended too. 
• Below are words which one can mention as synonymous with etiquette because they all tilt towards having the same meaning: 
• Etiquette, decorum, social intelligence, proprieties imply observance  and knowledge of the formal requirements governing behaviour in Best Society. Etiquette refers to conventional forms and usages: Decorum relates to dignity or poise: a fine sense of decorum.Proprieties implies established conventions of morals and good taste: The lady observes the proprieties always because she does not want embarrassment. 
• According to W. Thourlby, “People, like diamonds, have a basic market value, but it is only after they have been polished that the world will pay their real value.”
• Look at the society today!!Decadence is everywhere. Manners have been thrown to the winds. If I should say, the animals are moreorganised  and responsible than some humans; it may not go down well with some people. To some extent, however, it is a fact. 
  
  All the same at this point in my life, the zeal, innate urge to be of relevant  to my generation, is uppermost in my heart and it is being expressed in black and white(statement made by me 12 years plus ago!). anyway, a story for another day. 
  
  You know significant changes through out history have occurred NOT because of armies, committees, nations, and governments, but as result of the courage and commitment of individuals. A voice can make change, even if not a significant one. But remember, change always follows a revolution. We want you to know. In fact, you need to know.
  
  It is time for a meaningful and positive change. Currently, Etiquette is raising its head in all speres of life and we want you not to be left out! Note! Parents are so busy they hardly have time for their kids, let alone teach them deportment. The normal school subjects are not enough.
    Etiquette seminars are not meant for students at all levels alone, but for the teachers too, corporate bodies, associations, non-profit organizations, restaurants, hotels, companies etc, name it. Etiquette does not necessarily mean financial strength, but poise, confidence, conscience, good communication, dress sense, being responsible, and ability to handle conflict/criticisms
  
  
  
  Resources
  Debrett`s  New Guide to Etiquette & Modern Manners by John Morgan , Headline, 1996
  
  Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Etiquette by Nancy Tuckerman and Nancy Dunnan
  
  Choosing Civility by P. M. Forni
  
  www,dictionary.reference.com/browseetiquette

 A MUST READ! IT MAY IMPART ON YOU POSITIVELY
A STORY OF CONSIDERATION FOR OTHERS SHOWING HUMILITY, GOOD MANNERS, SERVANTHOOD, SELF RESPECT EPITOMSING A GOOD LEADER AND HOW ANYONE CAN LEARN TO BE POLISHED AND  TO BEHAVE WELL

A leader can be found in various groups in the society. There are leaders of countries, states, local government councils, organizations, churches, companies, schools, name it. There are some leaders you love to be in their presence everyday. May be just to observe them and learn some of their attitudes which could be useful to you. Leaders are those who are able to handle conflicts and criticisms at any given time. Leaders are those who do want instant recognition and at the same time do not have inferiority complex. Their motto is “leadership by example.” Leaders are great readers, and as such they are very current, knowledgeable, observant, and have foresight. Leaders give effective leadership through transparent honesty and selfless service. Leaders are courteous, and polite to all and sundry. Leaders do not practice nepotism.

  
True leadership begins with servant hood, coupled with obedience without being slavish. Have you heard of  Jesus Christ? His leadership qualities are intimidating. Words are not enough to describe him.

You remember Late Chief M.K.O Abiola? His humility knew no bounds when it came to respect for age and gray hairs. Even as a billionaire, this attribute never left him. The father had him as his first surviving son at the age of 58. He graduated from the University of Glasgow in Scotland where he distinguished himself and made a first class in Accountancy. As a bubbling young man, he accorded is father all due respect. The very first car he bought was taken by him in company of his late wife, Alhaja Simbiat and son, Mr. Kola for the usual traditional blessings. After all said and done, the father now asked for the car for his personal use. The father was more than 80 years old then. With immediate alacrity, he obliged him. What humility!! They left his father’s residence in Abeokuta, back to Lagos in pubic transport.

 In those good old days in the United States, the famous George Washington and a friend were taking a walk one morning when on their way they met a slave. The slave tipped his hat and greeted General George Washington and he promptly replied saying, “Good morning to you, and I hope you have a pleasant day”. The fellow who was with the general was perplexed, for he asked, “Why should you greet a slave?” Washington smiled without any grudge and responded thus, “I would not allow him to be a better gentleman than I.” There is this rich man I know who came to worship with us in our parish one fine Sunday morning, sat about the first set of pews close to the pulpit. You know in some churches, wealthy people sit close to the pulpit. He had sat not quite thirty minutes; a lady approached him and ordered him to leave because it was here seat. The man quietly left without an argument after graciously pouring out an apology.

 One time principal of the famous Saint Maria Geretti Girl’s Secondary School, Benin City, now in Edo State was a leader to the core and still is. She is no other person than Revered Sister Henrietta Powers, an Irish origin. She is a rare gem. Her style of was “leadership by example.”  Some parents came looking for her years back in the school premises (it is my Alma Mater), they met her raking grass with students and they were all surprised.

 
You know  most mission schools, especially the Catholic ones, morning masses are very compulsory. Most of us who usually dodged some of these masses were often asked to wash toilets as punishment. Knowing fully well we are kids, Sisters would even scrub the toilet partially just to make sure we did the job in her absence. What can one ask for more than this?

  
Booker T. Washington was another epitome of humility and servant hood. When he was the head of Tuskegee institute Alabama in the U.S., he was strolling past the house of a very rich family; the wife of the house mistakenly took him for one of the laborers of her husband. He demanded of him to break some firewood for her. He humbly accepted, and even went further to carry the pieces of wood into her kitchen. In the process, a servant recognized him, rushed to her madam to reveal his identity. She felt so bad that the next day, it was apology galore in Washington’s office. He simply responded by saying, “it’s entirely all right Madam, I like to work and I’m delighted to do favor for friends.” To show her appreciation, she and her wealthy friends donated so much money to the institute.

 The slain Pa Alfred Rewane was an icon of humility and service. Those who were really close to him can attest for this. I witnessed a situation where daddy practically served tea and coffee to us, and some very top people in the society. More or less treating us like his children.

”The greatest among you must be your servant”